He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
