Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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