yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
