Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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