absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
