i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
