There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
