I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
