sorry about calling you the devil all night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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