but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Text me some of your sweat
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
