i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize