See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
