Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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