I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
