Cold hands, warm shart.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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