addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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