After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize