Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
