i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
