This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize