fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
