She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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