hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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