Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
