But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
