she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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