Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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