my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
