I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
