I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
