just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
