he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize