i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
