TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
