I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
