Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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