I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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