And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
