I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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