Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
