I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
