you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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