I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
