Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
