Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
