I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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