we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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