I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
