And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
