I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
