the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
