He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
