I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
