ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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