i will never coherently bang her
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
