I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
