Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
