Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
