plz talk dirty to me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
