god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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