can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
