therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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