So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
